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Paris Hilton v. Web 2.0

December 11, 2006 – 4:35 pm

We’ve become a cartoon society. So I though I might as well join in. Web 2.0 are you kidding me? You think anybody really cares about your AJAX or widgets. Blog ethics on the web? That’s a fucking joke. See geeks don’t get people. They get websites. No idea what to put on them so they spend all day building bits or pieces or changing the website as they try and figure out the web.

Let me sum up the the whole future of the web just like Albert Einstein tried to do but couldn’t for the entire universe. The unified or singular theory of the laws of nature that define our lives, I will now tell you for the web.

The singular or otherwise known as unifying theory of the web is this.

It will become TV.

We are going to hell in a handbasket ladies and gentlemen and it will be televised on YouTube.

We are living in a time when these are the only things that matter for most people. In order to appease all you “Transparency” freaks, I’ve put my “Personal and Real” self analysis on each.

Sex - Always since I’m a kid.
Money - Made Cash, lost cash.
Physical Appearance - Awesome always.
Fame - Nope, but some people who come to this site dig me I guess.
Power - Depends on your definition. But, yes.

parisnicky.jpg

Here’s a little something for the web 2.0 guys. Recent Yahoo data. Tech came out real strong.

Top 10 Overall Searches From Yahoo
1 Britney Spears
2 WWE
3 Shakira
4 Jessica Simpson
5 Paris Hilton
6 American Idol
7 Beyonce Knowles
8 Chris Brown
9 Pamela Anderson
10 Lindsay Lohan

Top 10 Blog/Blogger Searches
1 Perez Hilton
2 The Superficial
3 Pink Is the New Blog
4 Huffington Post
5 TMZ.com
6 Daily Kos
7 Jossip
8 A Socialite’s Life
9 Little Green Footballs
10 Gawker

  1. 8 Responses to “Paris Hilton v. Web 2.0”

  2. The thing about the transparency freaks is, they get had time and again.

    I just don’t pay attention, except to what I want to.

    What I want to know is how do we raise kids among all of this crap? Foundation, and somehow teach them to navigate through.

    Do us some good if the good lord would smite us down. not that I really want that.

    By Jecklin on Dec 11, 2006

  3. Good question man, I don’t know.

    By Loren on Dec 11, 2006

  4. Now calm down Mr. Jecklin, you’re starting to sound like a weird blogomisfit known as Vaspers the Grate.

    Geeks don’t understand, or like, any type of ecommerce or online marketing. We need those geeks to keep us on our toes.

    Marketers don’t have patience or inclination to understand HTML, CSS, multi media, vlogging, or anything much beyond blabbering on and on about their fucking books, seminars, conference attendance, and home remodeling projects.

    Personal bloggers, the vast majority, care only about their exhibitionistic, narcissistic drivel. And commit suicide if no one links to them or posts comments at their empty posts.

    So where are we then?

    When I finally grind out my DRaPS (Dream Record and Playback System), the marketers will figure out a way to force dream-embeds, oneiric commercials onto our dreams, so that, even in slumber and sleep, we will be hounded by hype.

    I’m a poet and my feet don’t know it.

    By vaspers the grate on Dec 12, 2006

  5. Cool effects on this video, and this Paris Hilton crap, mixed with the evil assmuncher alcoholic anti-semite Smell Gibson the Gore Monger, is why the world hates the USA.

    The world is right. The Islamo-fascist coward terrorists are right. The USA is the Great Satan. Very true. Thanks Ted Haggard, Jim Jones, and Haliburton/Cheney, etc.

    We deserve whatever attacks we get.

    Blogs are turning into telemarketing, the web is turning into PayPerDream slush mush, and the internet is turning into Psycho Compu Telepathy nightmares fueled by crass materialism, super size fat slob grade schoolers, and … oh woe is us!

    By vaspers the grate on Dec 12, 2006

  6. Holy crap I have to stop dropping acid with lunch.

    And yeah Paris Hilton is like a Petri dish for STDs. It’s our own (collective) fault though, we just keep shoveling money at these sluts.

    Not me though, I prefer my sluts honest. I only pay money for porn.

    By jvon on Dec 12, 2006

  7. In thousands of years from now, traces of our civilisation will be uncovered. And just as we look back at the ancient world through its relics, our predecessors will look back at us.

    But will the 21st century be seen as the era of technological revolution and cultural regression?

    How will we rate in comparison to ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome?

    With Paris Hilton as one of many landmarks on our civilisation’s iconographic landscape, surely we have already moved beyond the death of culture?

    Cry Robots as progeny!

    By AndrewE on Dec 12, 2006

  8. Hell in a handbasket indeed! I thought the same thing when I saw the top searches the other day. But it was no surprise to me. My blog posts about music & entertainment have always gotten more search hits & comments than any of my more substantive / serious posts.

    By Michael on Dec 12, 2006

  9. No surprise to me either Mike. Hell in a handbasket. Great.

    By Loren Feldman on Dec 12, 2006

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