I wrote a heartfelt post the other day about how I would no longer be committed to serving mankind by pointing out bullshit on the internet. This post was written after meeting with the 1938 Media Advisory board. I maintain an advisory board and a few were screaming at me about my tone as of late. I took this to mean that it would be in my best interest to no longer point out the injustices with brilliant social satire that has become synonymous with 1938 Media. I was wrong in this assumption. I have been advised that I should still be me, just a better version of me. This means that I have to have a better understanding of my audience.

Personally, I think ad hominem attacks are funny. It’s just funny calling a fat drunk, you know, a fat drunk. Apparently there are segments of society that don’t find humor in this kind of language. I suspect they are either fat or drunk, but that is besides the point. The point is I can get my point across without being so goddamn mean about it. Personally, I think it’s funny to be mean to people, but once again I seem to be in the minority on this one.

With these thoughts, we are developing the 1938 Media Style Guide On How To Refer To Douchebags. Examples include:

The site will no longer refer to Robert Scoble in the following manner:
A two bit drunk.
A big fat disgusting blob.
His odors.
A complete mental retard.
Talk of his hitting on anything that moves.
References to mental illness not limited to, Aspergers, NPD, OCD, OMGFU
In any way refer to his many physical and mental weaknesses.

The site will no longer refer to Michael Arrington in the following manner:
A delusional egomaniac with severe anger issues.
A big fat disgusting slob.
A complete mental retard.
Talk of his being unable to form meaningful lasting relationships with either Men or Women.
Mention the fact his extreme paranoia and visions of grandeur probably requires medical assistance.
References to mental illness not limited to, Aspergers, NPD, OCD, OMGFU.
His weird sexual attraction to the blue chick from “Avatar”.
In any way refer to his many physical and mental weaknesses.

The Following Terms Are Acceptable To Refer To People:
Dope
Moron
Nit-wit
Half-wit
Quarter-wit
Douchey
Dumb
Stupid
‘tard
Idiot
Hockey Puck

I hope this clears things up a bit. Next we will be adding the guidelines on what I can call the Negroes and the Homos in tech without offending those people. Last thing you want is an uppity web negro or bitchy tech homo screaming about something you said.